Throughout the year, I’ve been pondering all of the passionate ranting of Advisers in the industry press, as well as on social media.
I’ve wondered… Why are many people so angry, so confused… so divided in opinion; and frequently so abusive to each other?
Yet, others are calm, determined… quietly getting on with building their businesses. And going from strength to strength.
Then I remembered a couple of books that helped Wendy and I in our marriage some years ago.
The two principles we drew from those books were these:
- Firstly, we love to fill those forums and Letters and Best Blogs pages. We do that, because each one of us wants our voice heard. Desperately.
We want to feel that we matter. We want to feel that our existence has some importance. - Secondly, each one of us is shaped by our ‘Window’
Window?
What’s all that about?!
I’ll explain.
Imagine that, soon after your birth, a window was placed in front of your eyes, and held firmly in place by some invisible contraption. (Stay with me…)
Imagine that week by week, those who influenced you – starting with your parents - wrote their views and thoughts and opinions onto your Window.
The time came when…YOU started to write your views and conclusions, about how the world works, on that Window.
And the more that people wrote those same views and thoughts… the more deeply etched they became.
Eventually… the only way you could view the world was not only through your Window… But through what was written (deeply) on that Window.
Now – as author – Stephen R Covey confirms… you see the world, not as IT is. But you see the world entirely through what is now written on YOUR Window!
In other words… you see the world as YOU have become!
And you think “Ah! That’s the way the world works!”
(When all the time… it’s the way YOU work)
And, no matter what anybody says… what’s written on your Window governs the way you see the world.
And that includes the world of your business!
Can you see how powerfully that would impact your thinking?
Can you see how deeply that would influence the way you behave in business?
Can you see how firmly that would shape your behaviour when threatened by a changing business/financial environment?
Can you see why you differ so violently with others when they tell you “This is the way to go.”?
It’s certainly why – when I speak at seminars and conferences – I can quickly divide an audience (by stating clearly what I believe to be true)
So, here’s a powerful question that has helped me reshape the way that clients think and behave when I’m coaching them…
“Let’s suppose the opposite of what you’ve just said was true.
Just suppose.
What would that mean to your decisions after today?”
I’ve observed hundreds of Small Business Owners as they’ve built their business (or merely survived).
I’ve observed that what they DO is not the start of their problem.
That’s not what stops them progressing.
Their future lies in the quality of what they THINK.
And what they think is frequently influenced by what they’ve been writing on their Window for the past decade (or more).
For Wendy and I, understanding ‘Windows’ changed the way we spoke to each other… when we were clearly poles apart in our views.
We started to ask each other: “Can you help me understand what’s written on your Window?”
For you?
Well… if you ever glance questioningly at an obviously-successful competitor or colleague… you might want to ask this question:
“What’s written on my Window, that’s stopping me enjoying the success, the fulfillment, the enjoyment, the sheer fun that I feel I deserve?
And how do I clean that Window, and free myself from views that stop me soaring to new heights?”
